I have this dilemma. And I don’t know if it is because I have always been this way or if it is something completely new. I definitely don’t have multiple personality disorder, but I may have multiple persona disorder.
When I was in my freshman year of high school I would hang out with two of my best friends, Chris and his kind of sort of, on again off again girlfriend Kathy. Long story there. But she was cool, she would call me on my shit, I knew she was cool then, but I still acted like an ass all the time and she still called me on my shit.
Anyway. Back then I had this weird thing I would do, and it may sound completely crazy to some, but to me it was a way of expressing my creative side. I had these weird personas I created. It was almost like acting, a totally freeing experience to be someone else for a brief moment, even it it was just me acting like a fool. But this has definitely led me to where I am today.
There are many different facets to my personality and to the way I view the world. One moment I may be cynical and an asshole, the next I am deep and philosophical. Which I think you really kind of have to be one to be the other. I promise you the Dalai Lama has a really fucked up sense of humor. He probably tells dick and fart jokes or something like that. My bet is he sees humor in places we would all find offensive only because to be that at peace you have to have an understanding of the fucked up side of life.
So maybe I don’t have a true type of persona disorder, but then I definitely have some pretty huge mood swings. This goes from ranting about the industry to mocking the idiot who came into my wife’s coffee shop today talking about a coffee shop across the country that we should probably know of, the owner’s name is “Phil … something” and he owns a coffee shop “back east”. Yeah, I know him, next time you see him tell him he owes me $10. And this conversation actually took place.
Of course then I do have my spiritual side, well as spiritual as you can get for not believing in a specific religion or thinking that some old dude in the sky is waving his magic wand. But I do believe we are all connected and this universe is so far beyond our comprehension that we needed to try and make sense of it all by creating these gods and stories to explain the un-explainable. But this is a post for another day.
The funny thing is that I am an ordained Reverend, have been since 2002. Once again, another story for another time. But I will be sharing these stories very soon as a new part of this site, which brings me back to my original topic, my multiple persona disorder. I am The Reverend Jim as well as The Average Jim. As well as many other hats I wear in this world.
My church is in my backyard, part of my playground. It is all connected, this is why I have been away from this blog for a little bit. I’ve been building my church, working on weddings, planning shoots, becoming a barista for my wife’s coffee shop and trying to categorize the clutter in my brain. I can’t throw it out, but I can try to make some order of it all. I’m not saying it will happen anytime soon, but you have to start somewhere.
I still have t-shirts and other random items coming up for sale soon. No idea when, but today is another organizational day. If I can stop writing and start working on it all. But if you know me, you know I get these random thoughts and just have to write them all down here on this ever-growing site. And by ever-growing I mean I am incorporating all of the different facets in my work into this one site!
This may totally backfire on me, but I really need to put it all together. I should probably hire an assistant to help me, but finding a good assistant is so damn hard these days! Everyone wants to work for you for 6 months or less and then use everything you taught them to become a photographer and your competition. Once again, just another complication of being me. I need someone who likes working on the back end, someone who can help organize a blog, who doesn’t mind stepping in front of the camera when I need to test and someone who will remember where I put my keys and remind me of appointments.
Apparently I also need someone to tell me when I wander off subject in the same blog post over and over. I’m off. I need to figure out life and work today. I’ll let you all know how it goes. 😉