Frustration and Motivation

There are days I wake up and think to myself that I must be out of my fucking mind to still want to be a photographer!  It is a lot of work just to find ways to make money these days, it is frustrating, it pisses you off to no end and then out of nowhere you are in love with it again.  WTF???

Last week I was spending my time as a volunteer for the Palm Springs Photo Festival and got to meet some very cool people and was an assistant to one of the photographers who was giving a workshop there.  Normally I am completely inspired by the festival, not so much this year.  Unlike last year I was expected to work a 40 hour shift.  Not that cool.

There were fewer volunteers this year, and budgets were cut on many things, it definitely showed.  But I got to meet some new people and catch up with some old friends so I’ll still take it as a win.

If there is one thing I definitely learned is that people will complain about everything.  I was almost one of those people.  I can admit it when I am pissy about something.  I was originally assigned to assist one photographer, I was getting emails regarding the workshop and was even helped with scouting locations for the workshop here in Palm Springs.  At the last minute I found out that I was working with another photographer and was never notified of my original workshop being removed from the ticket.  My first reaction was kind of what the hell, because I had put in so much effort into the other one.  But then I got to thinking and I was not going to just bail on this other photographer who is now counting on me to be an assistant.

So I sucked it up and worked my ass off and at the end of the day I actually learned a thing or two about lighting that I didn’t know!  I also got to meet a couple of really cool people.

Tessa by The Average Jim

I think my point is that as much as I may want to get away from photography, at every level it always sucks me in.  I am addicted and have a serious passion for it.  Even when I am frustrated with it I am still calmed by it.  It doesn’t make sense, but yet it does.

Tessa by The Average Jim

Of course now I am totally confused on where to go next.  I had a dream about starting another boudoir studio, but I’m not sure if that is where I want to go again.  Maybe I’ll just go on more random adventures and let the universe take me where it thinks I should go?  Have camera will travel.  Or maybe I’ll just continue to create a home studio here in Palm Springs.  Or maybe I’ll just figure it all out later. 😉

Tessa by The Average Jim

These are some images I found in The Archives of Tessa, maybe I should go to Australia and visit her for another shoot?