I think the most frustrating part of any art form is the self-doubt. Self doubt comes in many forms, everything from doubting your ability, doubting if anyone really likes what you do, doubting your success before your death and the list goes on.
My doubt is a little different but I’m sure someone out there will feel the same. My doubt changes day by day of wanting to do the same thing. I get bored easily with my work, especially when I sit back and look at it. I always think I could have done better, even when it is some of my best work! People will tell me they love it but I don’t always believe them. Granted this is a trait that has pushed me to higher levels of work, but it can also be deadly.
There are times I have almost completely walked away from photography, and I have taken many breaks from it too! I’m kind of in a break right now, I have not shot a personal project in months and it is starting to show. The problem is that I have an idea in my head that I want to shoot and I know I don’t have the budget set aside to pull it off the way I want to. This is frustrating because I don’t want to half-ass it!
I know I could probably do it with less of a budget or possibly no budget and nobody else would know, but I would know and it would drive me insane! I had someone set up for this shoot but now their career has boomed and they want too much money, and others who seem like they would be worth paying just talk about the rate rather than the concept. The internet has nearly ruined the modeling industry! Everybody thinks they are a star and everybody wants top dollar but not everybody has a killer look and too many don’t want to take direction, they’re too busy knowing how to move. Bullshit.
My doubt stems from knowing how I want something and not being able to make it happen due to outside resources, and this sucks! There is plenty of talent out there, but finding the right team is always the hardest part. And right now, I am surrounded by a lot of talent, but unfortunately it is the wrong team for this particular job. Ugh, I’ll make it happen soon, but as Tom Petty said, the waiting is the hardest part!
Here is one of my summertime assistant Robyn… I think I might need another assistant here in Palm Springs…..