The biggest mistake I have ever made is trying to fit in. When I was shooting weddings full-time years ago it seemed like you had to have a certain website, you had to be a certain style just to book clients. It was just “what you did”. I was never happy doing that. I always wanted to push boundaries, do more, be more. And once I started doing more and being more of who I wanted, suddenly I was happier.
There were many times I went about it the wrong way, but you live and you learn. I will continue to make mistakes, it is in my nature. I just act sometimes, I don’t think it through, I don’t think about the big picture. It’s almost like instinct and it takes over. I have learned how to be a little more aware and how to do things the right way, or mostly the right way. But I still have that instinct to just act on my mood and when the idea strikes.
The positive thing is to always focus on what you do want to do instead of what you don’t want to do. But knowing what you don’t want can often lead to what you do want. I don’t want to be normal, it just doesn’t fit well. So if I don’t want to be normal, I have to counter that with a positive, so I do wish to have passion for my work and life.
I like to make these little lists of do’s and don’ts. It helps me focus and it definitely lets me know how I see things. Which is almost never normal.
I have a different moral compass, I view things very differently from a lot of my friends and family. I don’t know why or how I became this way, I just have always been this way. This means I really don’t understand normal conversation about certain things. To me the answer is blatantly obvious yet these people still must sit around and discuss it for hours while never coming to any concrete conclusion.
To me it is just easier to just do it. Just say okay, bite the bullet and do it. Don’t think about it for two years and then do it with half-ass effort. Just get off your ass and do it now. There is no time like the present! I lack a filter in my brain that makes me wait. My impulse control is way out of whack! But not for buying things or anything like that. It is more about when I get an idea in my head I have to do it. Especially in the creative field. I get obsessive over it.
So yes, I do a lot of things wrong and I have made a lot of mistakes. I will keep making mistakes, but it’s okay, I learn from them, I try not to make the same mistakes over and over. It is way more fun to find new mistakes to make! Of course I’m talking about good mistakes, not the ones that don’t feel right. You can make mistakes that lead you into a new, more positive direction. I’ve done that more than a few times! The mistake I will not make again, at least I hope I don’t, is to do something that is not me again. To try to be normal and do what everyone else is doing. I just cannot do that again. Every time I try I feel like I fail because it just isn’t me.
This is why I avoid certain people and certain groups of people. They just don’t get it and I don’t think they ever will. And I won’t get them, and that is okay. It was my mistake for trying to understand them all in the first place. 😉