Sometimes I just want to walk away from the world of fashion and just do my own thing. It is not fashion that makes me feel this way, it is the competition that makes me feel this way. I’m not the highest priced photographer out there, not even close. Yet people are still under-bidding me by so much that it would end up costing me money to do the shoot! I am so over the low-ballers out there.
I understand, you want to get your foot in the door, but come on! If they are asking you to bid, your foot is already there! I have seen jobs that pay $10,000 now go for under $1500 simply because some new photographer wants a magazine cover in their portfolio. But guess what, you have just lowered the standard rate and now you nor anyone else who shoots for that magazine will ever get paid a high rate again.
Some may think I am bitching about making $1500, but I am not. This rate is supposed to cover the day rate of the photographer and the rate of the crew, studio and gear. So once you add all of this up, $1500 does not pay the rent. But it gets you more jobs that won’t pay the rent, woohoo!
So now I am back to thinking positive, I am also back to just wanting to do my thing and not care what anyone else thinks. There have been so many cynical and rude people sticking their noses where they don’t belong lately that I really want to start shooting stuff that is in my head! If they think my work is offensive now, just wait, I have been keeping myself on a leash!
And I don’t wish to offend anyone, that is not the intent of my work. Which is partially why it pisses me off when people call it that when there are so many more offensive things out there!
Oh, well, you can’t please everyone, especially when you’re not trying to. So I’m back to this limbo of what to do, I say screw it. I took a break from the industry at the end of last year, now I don’t care if I’m a part of it or not. This means I am taking away all boundaries with my work. My portfolio will be as diverse as I can make it! It is no longer about making money as a photographer for me. I’ll make money, I’m not worried about that. What I want to do now is just enjoy the process of making images from start to finish again.
Here is to enjoyment. Nothing else matters to me when it comes to photography now. If I am enjoying myself, shooting the vision I have in my head, that is all I want from it these days. Everything else will just fall into place.